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About Glasgow

Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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Man, this town is a hoot. I live here and it’s got that vibe, ya know? Walkin’ down High Street, you’ll spot the old brick shops, quirky cafés, an’—whoops, nearly forgot—St. Mary’s Church, standin’ proud with its spire. Ah heck, sometimes I pass by on my way to relax by the River Deben. Yup, that’s our slow snake-like river, windin’ through town.

Visitors go 'bananas' for new venue on opening weekend